Most awkward thing ever just happened. I was reaching in my purse to get something and a condom fell out into the woman's lap next to me. At least she knows I'm safe.
my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
Yeah, but thats the third time she's peed on me.
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
I crashed her parents' car cause she was giving me road head. Its probably best to just let them think I'm a bad driver.
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
i just ran into my boss at the liquor store. we didnt exchange words, just nodded in mutual understanding.
i sound like a 75 year old homeless man that has spent all his panhandling money on cigarettes since he was 12. that rough.
He stumbled out of the bar bathroom at 3:30 am with his jeans unzipped and his dick hanging out - it was the physical manifestation of "blackout with your cock out"
Anddon't worry about me I have my Darth Vader flashlight
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I remember climbing onto your table and singing"tequila tequila" into your candlesticks. I apologize.
I think the pizza delivery guy is getting a handjob next door.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
Legal advice please. Can you sue someone for jerking off to photos of you?
Randomize
