Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
Can someone please explain to me how I got rugburn on my tits?
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
ALERT: Turns out when I'm drunk I turn into a clepto. I just found keys, a ketchup bottle, and sweatshirt in my backpack that don't belong to me. If yours, come collect from me. I'm still drunk in the back of biology lecture.
He's dressed as a power ranger handing out cocaine
Dude you have to come get or im gonna nail this 64 y/o woman as repayment for buying me shots of jager
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Im rolling face in a pizzeria. I want to be with people who love me.
He added me to his contacts as 'boot and rally'...have you ever been more proud to be related to me?
I can't wait to tell mom.
he brings me coffee and gets a blow job. not sure if I trained him or he trained me or it's simply mutually beneficial beautiful.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Our baby is creepy.
That's how we know it's ours. haha
Randomize
