Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I took a bird feeder and filled it with alka-seltzer. Can you say fireworks?
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
2nd night home for break and we had to call the fire department to keep the house from burning down. At this rate I'll be lucky to see you next semester.
All I'm asking for is flower occasionally, and in return you get to come home to me naked in heels. Is that to much to ask for?
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
do you know how ratchet you have to be to get kicked out of a drag club on Halloween weekend??
This is a sacred holiday in the land of the free! I do what I want!
I dunno. We kind of want to have a hippie communing with nature type break. But because we're such alcoholics I feel like we'll just be wasted the whole time in addition to hugging trees and shit
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
The list of people who didn't throw up last night is insanely smaller than the list of people who did
So it was a successful night I take it?
i have to pee so bad and he is sleeping and idk where the bathroom or my clothes are!!!
Randomize