if you wake up with plaid pants on your floor in the morning, you made a bad decision.
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
she told me her two favorite things were grocery stores and dick.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
nope im down the street in my car watching the front of her house. its actually less creepy than it sounds
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Not sorry that my walk of shame this morning was barefoot on my scooter.
She left her panties here. They looked SOOO much smaller last night.
Should I be flattered that she mumbled "You're the king of my face" before passing out?
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
He just went to a job interview a sharpie moustache drawn on his face..
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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