I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
Ok I can't be your drugdealer AND booty call AND friend. It just doesn't work that way
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
I just wanted to clarify that I am not bisexual and had no intentions of ACTUALLY penetrating my roommate with a can of bugspray.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
Its almost 1 am and u wanna get together and cry naked
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
Today's hangover is brought to us by Sailor Jerry's and your dedication to my alcoholism.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I have a lot of money, and no morals. shots on you when you get here.
Randomize
