Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Facebook stalking a girl from Germany is harder then you think.you have to copy and paste all this shit into freetranslations.com then try and piece together an awkward sentence. If only I could put this energy into something productive.
Every single time I start thinking that we shouldn't have done that to him, I think of his ballsack in our passed out faces. No sympathy.
I just had some guy offer to eat me out on my lunch break... I think single life is getting better everyday
Don't upload the drink o meter to your google calendar. Somehow binge drinking looks even worse with a time stamp.
My brain is foggy with friends reruns and him licking hummus off my tits.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
Why were you eating a hot dog in the bathroom at 230 am?
My roommate was sleeping, I thought it would be rude
Because the guy guy doing the drawing either wanted to bone, or wanted us to stop entering the contest. Either way, we got concert tickets so I'm cool with both scenarios.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
I mean you're asking high Chelsea. I'd sell myself for a rice crispy
What does it mean when the bartender gives you 4 straws?
Randomize
