i'm sending her a home depot gift card for the hole i put in her wall. call it good?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
your suggestions for charades were, getting sucked into an aircraft turbine, getting raped by a dolphin, and having sex with a vacuum cleaner. you got your own, and actually used a vacuum cleaner as a prop.
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
guy at the corner shop gets out a bottle of tequilla and a pack of malboro light whenever he sees me through the door. makes me feel loved and cared for
This girl told me she was a virgin the other day. I felt like I was talking to a unicorn.
she tried giving me head in the pool. it was more entertaining than pleasurable
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
We need to reprogram your vagina to say "no"
I don't think you seem to understand this concept. WHEN A GAY GUY HANDS YOU A DAIQUIRI, YOU DRINK IT.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Ok so I need a recap of last night...
YOU SPENT SIX DOLLARS AT NICKEL BEER NIGHT!!! How's that
My favourite part was when you contorted upside down in the tub and said "I don't want to be upside down"
Randomize
