i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
ok so hold on... from what i hear... thank you... i'm sorry... and your welcome.
Bad news is he broke up with me via text message
But the good news is I've returned as mayor of whoreville
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
You are my mentor.
I drank wine out of a protein shake bottle last night. You may want to rethink that statement.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
She drunkenly texted me about Japanese mythology at four AM. I think I’m in love.
Heading there now. Already have a boner.
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
The people above me are fucking to Miley Cyrus
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
Because, after all, nothing quite says life in 2020 than doing laundry at 9:40 on a Friday morning to make sure you have masks and underwear.
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