i have a reoccuring irrational fear i'm going to walk in on my dad masterbating. Night.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I just remembered we said the Lord's Prayer before we went out last night.
So theres a slight possibility i may not graduate according to planned because i was out getting laid instead of studying. And im okay with that.
Dude it was weird. The strippers vagina tasted kind of like your mother's.
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
I asked for a dramatic "funeral" look for my makeup. They judged me.
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
I'm taking ecstasy it's gonna be that kind of Vegas trip
tried to suck my ex boyfriends dick last night at a bar... Happy homecoming from me to you
I thought he was a lobster and that the moon was going to pull me through him.
I don't think I should try acid.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
Quick question: now that you've broken up, should I also delete the nudes your boyfriend sent me while you were together??
Randomize
