so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
apparently red wine has the total opposite effect that whiskey does on his dick
im spending all my christmas money on new years parafanalia aka things I will ingest or lose by the next morning
i just made a "things you cannot forget to do this week just because you're high" list.
he's got a countert top full of yard sale blenders so id say maragita wednesdays is a go.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
should i be impressed or disgusted that i was spitting glow-in-the-dark?
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
When you guys came back from the bar, I thought everyone was a T-Rex - Thats why i was hiding under the table. Never doing shrooms with Drunk people again
You pulled out a fucking recorder and started playing along with all the songs on your playlist and refused to hit the j
do you ever feel so high you're swimming backstroke and then you realize you're still laying in bed on tumblr
Look, you don't know disfunction until you've sat on the john taking a shit and crying while totally sober.
A guy I hooked up with YEARS ago just endorsed me on LinkedIn for "customer service".
While I was giving him head he told me he had to go door to door the next day and "spread the word of Jesus Christ" I felt like a Disney villain out to steal his virtue.
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
