Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
I may or may not be drunk driving a golf cart. Vegaaaassssssss.
the bar just sent me a facebook message congratulating me on being a regular and getting such good grades. my life is not real.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
She's like my safety school. At the end of the night, if I haven't found anyone better to hook up with, I can always call her if I need a place to drop a load and don't want to rub one out myself. Perfect next door neighbor.
Just watched a drunk girl hand her valet ticket to a cop and walk away.
No I got myself stoned. With her bowl. She was just a casualty of the War on Sobriety.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
When you're a bigshot ER surgeon and I'm a starving artist, I want you to remember who held your hair last night.
turns out my ex girlfriend has become my most successful wingman. life is fuckin weird sometimes
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
THE SUN DOESNT SET TIL 647 YAAAAASSSSSSSSSS. Goodbye seasonal depression hello regular depression
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
