need another drink. this is the easiest way
hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
BLOW JOB GIRL IS IN WALMART
Some people actually refer to her as Kaitlyn you know.
i just cleaned out my toilet because i knew that my head would be in it later
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
we got so high we spray painted his girlfriend's UGG boots. she's CRYING. it's hysterical.
Watching a deaf couple have an argument in the mall. Can't bring myself to look away.
I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
One of my preschool students told me today that it's not pollution that makes the water in lakes unclean. It's the hobos. I was absolutely speechless. And just so proud.
I don't care what he thinks. My vagina has an open door policy.
Yea, i was tied up and blindfolded. And someone was throwing chicken nuggets at my face.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
I left for five minutes and Chris wound up half in women's clothes, half naked. And the naked half was covered in shamrock stickers.
Having sex with my girlfriend wearing my old Tom Brady jersey on the day he's freed is the closest I'll come to a 3way with Tom
She had a toddler. It threw up and then some guy said party foul and put it on the porch. Going back next Friday.
Randomize
