smell like capt'n and strawberry champagne
OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Learn some fucking English or leave me alone! "Your" is for something that belongs to you, like 'your herpes'. And "you're" is a contraction for "you are", like "you're not sleeping with me".
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Its 6:30 and I'm shotguning a busch ice while taking a shit. Outlook for work today: interesting
nope, if she's going to skank it up with ginge-a-saurus douche she deserves the silent treatment.
I'm dressed like a deranged cupcake. Let's get fucked up.
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
We have to have sex twice when i get back. I miss you sex, and thank god the nhl lockout is over sex. I will happily let you wear your sharks jersey during it and i will wear my ducks jersey, and it will be mad rivalry sex.
Maybe I'm not hungover. Maybe I'm actually dying.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
As soon as you told us you were an ostrich with a big penis, we began to wonder what you were on and if you wanted to share.
I watched my wife kick balloons while wearing thigh highs. It's not a sentence you get to use too often
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