my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
Yea, remember to blow out the fire from flaming shots. Unless you want burnt lips. Just saying, I'm an example of ignorance and intoxication.
I do have sympathy for you. It's just not going to manifest as a blow job.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
Hey since its national brother week is that eiffel tower option with your girlfriend still on the table?
I feel like he's only with me because no one else would blow him.
Note to self: last nights makeup does NOT, under ANY circumstances, look good today.
She jumped on a table and took off her shirt and started yelling things that no one understood. For being 3, she has a dead on impression of a drunk party girl.
I'm wearing fairy wings and I broke my wizard staff. If this isn't the most happy but sad moment of my life , I don't know what is.
I was drunk and really grossed out when you poured cheese on me and, I guess I just freaked out.
Alas my dad DD'd me. Legit cock blocked to the highest degree
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
VIVE LA RESISTANCE
Oh god, what now?
After I spend a passionate night with my vibrator, I have to awake and face my stuffed animals. Their beady eyes are full of shame and disappointmet. I can't deal with that level of judgement.
It seems that I didn’t convey clearly enough how well and truly fucked we are, Jack. Listen to me very closely: we are DEAD.
Randomize
