Fuck their fairy tale bullshit. I shall ruin it. With a few thrusts of my cock.
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
I hope to God 2011 is the year I stop loving tequila.
i gave him a hand job with one hand and held the 40 with the other. this is like freshman year all over again.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
Even with having the shower running and music on everyone could hear the alcohol gods making me sacrifice my dignity and meals from the past week.
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
We smoked bowls and watched Cops for what seemed like hours. And yet I know I'll go back.
i just found a red feather stuck to my penis and i really wanted to send you a picture but too much
Stealing, and booze. If only you added meaningless sex with random people you would have wrapped all your life passions together
He was gunna drive a half hour for a makeout sesh. Time to take the diapers off and learn about the wonders of the penis, dude
I don't want to resort to having sex with people that actually like me.
But really, someone with a penis give me attention before I start posting nudes on Instagram.
His parents came home, and now I'm hiding in a closet; awaiting death at dawn.
You are always hiding in a closet though??
It's a race to see if I finish the bottle first or my homework
Randomize
