I would like to meet someone who actually lost their virginity in a candle filled room
What am I legally allowed to do to a girl that is the equivalent of me punching her in the face?
Just sold a bike on craig's list for 4 four lokos and a 40. How bad do you miss college?
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
I wish I could like. Pull my liver out, and put it in the corner of a boxing ring, put a towel and ice on it, rub it's shoulders, and tell it to "get back in there, you got this!".
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
Apparently throwing balloons filled with vodka off the roof is considered terrorism.
I went eBay shopping last night. Turns out I brought a Viking drinking horn. I can't even be mad.
You went in the back with her.. And honestly I couldn't tell her neck from her tits man..
I'm worried about your health. And your boobs. Actually, health, then boobs. Health first, boobs second. And third.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
IT'S LIKE LOOKING INTO GOD'S VAGINA!!!!
Here's a concept though: eating pasta while getting laid
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
Randomize
