I see my mary-anne walkin' awa-y-y! Bow Nahw now new, ne ne ne ne ne, ne ne nehw, ne ne new new Nah dan ah bwawn-now, ba bwan'll buh dada bwiddly doo.
That was supposed to be me air guitaring the solo from More than A Feeling
My penis looks like a roll of pennies
Oh. Ok. I get the hint.
Like a roll of pennies where the paper got wet & then dried all wrinkly and weird...
Someone sent me a drink from across the bar. It was water.
can't believe I ate straight coffee grounds to stay awake for that
Please know that I fully expect you to help me steal a bed if I have a bad breakup.
God, for the last time, no I did not break my nose doing a keg-stand just for a nose job.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
Heat not working dressed like an eskimo. A real one with a ski sock on my junk
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Tried to shave my legs but the rug burn on my knees from last night got in the way.
Make a note to pack something that won't catch shell casings in your cleavage
Access to a Target is paramount to my general happiness and self-worth.
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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