the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
i find it depressing how it takes me longer to find a good video compared to the actual jacking off process.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
I'm sorry. We set two Christmas trees on fire. Also the neighbor's yard. Also ours.
WHATEVER CLASS IS PLAYING "TOOT IT AND BOOT IT" AT 8:30 IN THE MORNING, I WANT IN.
Dude. I am seriously trying SO hard not to be amused by Honey Boo Boo. But the fact is, she just got a mani pedi with her gay uncle Poodle, and he got a discount because he only has nine toes, and I am ALL IN.
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
Oh. I'm probably going to just get a viagra and ruin your life.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
I can still taste the Jäger. I'm gonna shoot myself.
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
When you wake up and wonder why your bleeding and it feels like you jumped into a ceiling fan, dont worry. Ill explain it all when I wake up.
Randomize
