Um, I don't know who U MEANT to send that to, but yes I WAS going to fuck you. Instead you can go play Halo with ur friends.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
So i do have strep. My apologies to the british guy from this weekend. You now have one more reason to hate america
If i theoretically had to put an iv back in what do I need to do?
The moral of the story is do not hire me because everything will end up smelling like pickles and I will not sufficiently clean it up.
The things I do for you. Not that I'm unhappy about it. I'm just saying you should love me.
Did you sleep with him again?
No! I just led him to believe that I would if he gets me booze. Do I have that little class that you have such minimal faith in me?
THERE IS AN ENORMOUS FAT WOMAN EYEING MY FLIGHT'S GATE LIKE IT WOULD BE DELICIOUS TO EAT.
I'm using my breathalyzer result sheet as a coaster for my 40.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
Then my perve supervisor asked about your vagina. And I was like nunya, but its glorious
"Do You Wanna Build a Snowman" came on while I was riding his dick. I had to take a moment.
And thanks! There are perks to polyamory. And birthday orgies are one of them
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
Randomize