He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I felt like in order for him to make it to mordor and destroy the ring, he'd have to make sweet sweet love to me in some form of hut or cave.
Dear Jesus. Send me strength to not suck cock this morning.
Is drinking before noon still a bad idea if you invent an amazing cocktail?
I CAN ONLY BE THE BIRDIE ON YOUR SHOULDER WHO LEADS YOU INTO BAD DESCISIONS
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
SHE'S PREGNANT AS SHIT, AND I JUSR PEELED A CLEMENTINE TO CHASE SHOTS WITH!! COULD LIFE GET ANY BETTER!?
I recall trading my iPhone watch for a carton of Marlboros.
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
Randomize