I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
I think we should involve a squid next time we fuck.
u kno there is a reason i dont tell mi friends about u
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
ARE YOU GOING TO SACRIFICE YOUR LIFE FOR MCDONALDS HASHRBOWNS
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
He cheated on me in real life. I can cheat at words with friends.
This vodka tastes like I'm not going to class tomorrow.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
Maybe you should start carrying pepper spray. You are like the Justin Bieber of lesbians.
My hair is crimped, I am walking with a roadie, and my vibrator is in my purse. I feel sorry for tomorrow.
Yeah, he fractured his ass by doing a canon ball into the bath tub....
Birthday wine tasting got super shambly super quickly. I am covered in cuts/bruises/terrible life decisions.
Randomize
