Good face, no body. And apparently her vagina is related to chewbaca.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
He didn't speak any English, but I think I caught the word turtle in there somewhere.
Why would he say turtle mid-fuck?
I got laid because I told her I play guitar. I haven't played in 7 years and only know a G chord. I love this place.
I walk in to see her roommate half naked on their stripper pole. I knew I was home.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
Sitting in a bubble bath with my bong, how's your morning?
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
well, mom whipped her new boobs out at the dining room table. So yeah you could say we had a pretty casual thanksgiving
I just woke up with a pair of handcuffs in my pants, can u explain this?
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