That poor girl was naked and had to be at a job interview in an hour
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
I wish they made portable blow up dolls for girls.
It's called a dildo, genius. Go to sleep.
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
He didn't seem too mad about the puke on the side of his car. You still have a chance.
Given my current decline of critical thinking and capacity for speech it's probably best u call the cops
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I'm gonna make a therapist very happy and very wealthy this semester.
Yes. Be the home wrecker you've always dreamed of being.
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
I mean.. listen to "Put It In My Mouth" and you'll get the gist of my voicemail for you.
Meh, all I have to do tomorrow is proctor an AP test. No loud noises and no physical activity allowed for almost 4 hours. Sounds like the perfect recovery period for a hangover.
I see myself subsisting on tequila for the next several days.
passed out on bart again and decide to bike home. biked thru a goat farm of angry goats, biked on the freeway, got stopped by the cops, and sat shotgun in the squad car while the officer driving got a video on his iphone of his partner riding my bike on the freeway.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
Randomize
