what do people who dont have blackberrys do while they poop?
we were pretty classy up until the second keg
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
You're getting a blowjob this afternoon. This has been your morning public service announcement.
Just ran four miles to popeye's. And back. Dedication.
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Just had my very first high conversation with mom
And you survived it! I'd say that earns you a "Blaze It Like a Real Adult" from the Grown-up Girl Scouts
do you think there's enough of the fabric you gave me to make a crop top for a cat?
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
Just asphyxiate me and toss my corpse in the Ocean. It'll be easier than whatever the next four or eight years will bring.
I drank all the wines... and all th Doritos. Whilst watching Fat Camp. I need to reassess my values.
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
You aaa... you ever forget to wipe your ass?
Randomize
