he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
Every once in a while you'd chuckle to yourself, and when I asked you what's so funny u replied "sometimes my toes tickle eachother"
He put used condom on the handle of the plunger in the bathroom.
i just remember pinky promising you guys to take care of him.
Lights are FLASHING. This just got REAL. CAPTALIZATION.
laying on floor next to bathroom with vent on to give myself comfort and remind me that im not going deaf. what did i smoke?
We did hand stand push-ups while beer bonging. Its now a thing
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
You know that girl that climbed through my window and got in my bed with me and fucked me? It turns out she was real and has a real boyfriend who is real pissed
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
They forgot my ranch. They're dead to me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
Randomize
