Some guy with no shirt on and his pants undone informed us he was kicked out of the cab
I asked him why, and he had absolutely no idea.
Have you ever slowed down next to the oldest people on the highway while getting road head just to see their extended reaction?
his balls ACTUALLY tasted like nuts
We got so high we made milksteak
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
It's not weird mascara. I just have puke crusted on my eyelashes.
just walk of shamed past a man riding a bike. RIDING A BIKE. what a wholesome life he must lead.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
She said just put your tongue in there and don't linger. I have other things to do.
Hey could you buy me 2 bottles of arbor mist? I'm trying to get laid tonight
She waited 7 months to break out her comicon costumes. I was only mad it took her so long. I fucked an elf last night and strawberry shortcake the night before!
How early is too early to study with margaritas?
just found the "let's take a picture before we do these roommates" before picture
thank god there was never an after picture.
Today is a good day to get high. It's easy to blame the glazed-over look in my eye on my new contacts
when some dude came up to you and said he didn't like your shirt you just looked at him and firmly asked if he really thought that you gave a fuck.
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