The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
96 perecent sure i just took a shower with socks
This girl in the gym has an amazing body...too bad there's no workout routine for a face.
OMG A WOMANS PROSTETIC ARM JUST FELL OFF AT BAGGAGE CLAIM
Currently coming up with judgment, the game. Works well on buses, will probably be more entertaining in bars.
You working tonight?
Keg. Hottub. Wearimnh a 8th graders bikini. Mess
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
Um yeah. I just puked. And found your contact.
Definitely worth waiting her kid to got to sleep when the first thing you hear once she's back is "I want you in my ass right now"
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
By this time next year I expect us to have full time jobs that we can call out of so we can day drink on beautiful days like this. Oh, and grill.
Pretty sure I love my nipple piercing more than I'll love my children someday
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
Saw your dad at the bar last night... And again this morning when he left. Told you not to mess with me bitch.
Randomize
