none of my boyfriends are responding right now, I thought I had enough to avoid this problem
I really hope your girlfriend didnt have your phone while i texted how much i loved doing it in HER car with you :x
If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
We can't all go after the girl with the low self-esteem
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
Do you remember some guy walking around the club saying "boner patrol" and smacking people in the dick?
Yeah, that was you
I have to take a quiz before midnight. Trying to decided if its a better idea to take it now when I'm stoned or later when I'm drunk.
On the upside I'm hairless from the waist down. On the downside, I just chemically burned my labia
Shit on my own feet while puking from my hangover. Is this what 33 is supposed to be like?
please remind me of this if i ever start out a night declaring my goal is to see how much american honey it takes for me to forget who i am again
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
you tried to make the parrot smoke your joint
i'm trying not to stalk him on facebook
i gave in
Randomize
