her eyes looked like someone had poured fruit punch in them. needless to say we had a good time.
There are only two things that should be in vaginas... penises and vegetables
corn on the cob and anal lube are not substitutes for the real thing
It was one time. Now I have to constantly remind her my name is Jessica not Jizzica.
FYI the landlord called, said we need to clean the puke off the side of the house...was someone on the roof lastnight??
....I found a picture of what appears to be the underneath side of the barstool (taken from the floor) and to top that, 9 pictures of the ceiling. Also, did I mention there's a picture with us posing with a pregnant lady at the bar?! WELP
Oh god I can't handle any more dudes. I just walk of shamed to work wearing a guy's boxers and a life jacket. This summer is going to kill me.
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
I feel like I smell like bad decisions
You were supposed to catch herpes, not feelings!!!
You know more about his cock specs than his childhood. Proud of you
All I know is I woke up cuddling a jar of peanut butter....
But being sober is boring. Everything takes so long, I feel like I'm just waiting in line to die.
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
Randomize
