Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
How am I suppose to look him in the face when I know a commercial lasts longer than he does?
and she said "My body is an orphanage, I take everybody in"...
look what he's done to me, i actually want to be a stripper now.
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
She sucks enough dick that I could make her mouth a legitimate Yelp location.
I am now being bribed with one orgasm per every meal I eat. This is the best anorexia therapy ever
I was going to say I needed the exercise but now all I can think about is BJs
My work here is done
our jesse-walt dynamic is actualy really perfect because i want to start a small time drug empire and you want to get high a lot its very accurate
Well my parents know I get medical Cannabis they saw me on the news at the dispensary
I believe you can. But if you can have rum with breakfast then do that. Definitely do that.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
I don't know who he was but he was covered up with a shower curtain and ate a whole bottle of tums
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