The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
I was so high last night. I wrote a poem about my salt shaker
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
when we went to bed he asked me to hold his penis so he knew i was there for him
No im the worst roommate ever. Just dump a bucket of water on my head at 8am so i can suffer like i deserve to.
You kept yelling "wood grain wheel" and grinding on fat chicks.
The hell is wrong with me
Is it related to planting your seed? Cause I don't know if you have studied the development of a tiny human, but that is some complicated shit.
Isn't everything in a man's life somehow related to him planting his seed?
While I'm on hiatus from the Russian potato nectar, it is my wish for others to enjoy it in my stead.
FYI, grandma is already drunk and using a bed sheet as a table cloth.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
i'm 99% sure they had an orgy while i was passed out
Apparently i disappeared and no one found me until the morning , but i have fifty missed calls
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
There were 16 girls and 31 titties. That’s how the club was. Lance doesn’t get to decide ever again.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
