thank you for a lively/lovely evening :)
should have blown me.
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I can't even look at my running shoes. I swear I drank more in the last 2 days than the last 6 months combined
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
I walked around with red solo cups on my feet, weeds tied around my neck and a tree in my hand
All my interactions with my brother are drug deals at this point
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
I m a li title tea p or short and sto u. T.... Here is my haaandley
C ANGT CATCH NE IM THE GIBNGER BREAS MAB
My boss just lit a candle and said a prayer to get laid tonight ..
I'll send you pictures of my nipples so you don't feel left out.
ive started thanking my toys after masturbating. might be time to get some fuck boys
Oh shit. My bra is undone and I'm pretty sure I peed on my sandal
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
