he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
i'm in workout clothes. this is progress.
I may have pooped in your shoe. or somewhere else in your closet. its unclear.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
I just met the neighbor hes a self proclaimed coke dealer/ softporn producer.
Just found bacon bits in my pocket. Blackout buffet is the best.
Dude I am not desperate enough to pay my dealer in change. Maybe tomorrow.
You went down on Rachel in front me last night. Worst. Brother. Ever.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
She's barefoot and topless screaming "HERE KITTY-KITTY" at a stray cat in the ditch on the side of the highway. How do I get her back in the car?
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
My intervention, when it happens, should have vanilla cake....buttermilk icing.
You can say goodbye to our security deposit.
Already? What he do?
Opened a bag of topsoil at the party and spread it all over the living room. TOPSOIL!
Randomize
