sometimes i wish i could find another girl that loves my dick as much as she does
i feel like she has dreams of it being like a person saying hey lets go play
I think I just sold my virginity for plane tickets
My printer just jammed because one of the condom wrappers I threw when we had sex in my dorm
ITS DAYLIGHT SAVINGS TIME SUNDAY EVERYTHING IS GOING TO BE OK AFTER ALL
I AM SAFE. EVERYTHING IS FOG. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED.
Bathroom attendant appreciated that hug I have him as a tip. Fucking BROKE these days.
We fucked in my trunk while on the clock....what did you do at work today?
He is always putting motivational shit on FB. So its like i know hes sad lonely and looking at internet porn. Break up winning
If you get that boat I will recruit some boat hoes for you and tape a video and sync it to I'm On A Boat. This is happening.
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
That was before I lit my hair on fire
So my step mom just informed me she tells stories about me at work as a form of birth control for the girls that work there, not sure if i should be offended or proud.
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
im just letting you know I walked in on you with four different guys last night. a. you were all naked. b. they're all roommates
Oh and it’s been a year according to my snap chat memories since I banged your cousin in your sons truck pulled over on Elm St! 😂😂😂😬😳😇
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