so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
He told me to pick a safe word. I said 'cactus' and he said I wasn't taking this seriously and that I wasn't cut out for s&m.
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
Their engagement party consisted of them doing shots, yelling at each other, leaving for 30 minutes, and coming back with smiles.
I'd say they're off to a great start!
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
I'm training him to sit when I whistle the tune from the hunger games. I'm going to be the coolest parent ever.
nana can keg stand better than me. should i be proud?
7:26 bus just came. I am sweatier than Louie Anderson eating chili in a sauna
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I just want somewhere where I can sit down, without changing my clothes, that will serve me breakfast food and booze. Is that too much to ask?
I feel like I could have been bitchier and missed an opportunity.
HE PEED ON ME. THE MANAGER OF THE BAR.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
When you puked on me I said to you "we will just say that you threw some mostacholi at me"
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