So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Can one do a walk of shame from one's own hotel? Considering I just barfed in a planter down town in from of a bunch of business men in suits on my way to a work breakfast on a Wednesday morning, I am gonna just go with yes.
He said he's was gunna give me some pain meds. I'm not sure what they are but I just gave him a thumbs up
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
I fail to see the problem of enjoying a glass of wine while I poop...
the point I'm tryimg to make is that you didn't need to take the whole box in with you
Seriously. Texted me 4 times and that didn't wake me up so he nicely called and left a voicemail saying he WOULD call me 8 times. So when he called back I answered.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
i'm bringing homemade birthday cake and homegrown weed. how awesome is this text?
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