So #1 way to come back last night and #2 wishbone and I broke into his house and i opened joey's door and u were both passed out and pantless.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
so she proceeds to puke everywhere, look up at me like a sick dog, and then say, "i'll finish if you want me to."
it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
The sun is out and the snow is finally starting to melt here... Vodka bottles keep popping up everywhere. Guess it's the college version of burying nuts for the winter
We decided that the paper cups disintegrating was god's way of telling us we had had enough
Also, not pregnant! Way to go uterus! Good job on being a team player!
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.
How long is enough time to schedule homosexual exploration... Like an hour?
I just need some dick and some jimmy johns
i spent 45 minutes yellng Heather I feel so bad i wanna die and then 45 more yelling I DONT WANNT TO DIE. thats how drunk i was
You kept sacrificing me last night. You would just yell out "Virgin Sacrifice!!" and then throw me into a circle of men.
Talked to the dude for a hour . I now know where he lives, his occupation, his goals, his dreams and what his dick looks like.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
