How did I get so drunk? We had to fish that girl out of the Goodwill Donation Box.
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
She invited me to an Eagles game, I mean that is almost better then if she told me she could only function with large amounts of semen in her system at all times.
Cure to hiccups..road head..high five
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
My vagina is scared and excited at the same time. It might not be able to sleep tonight.
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I had to bail out of the tour de Franzia because I have class Saturday morning. Grad school is ruining my life
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
I was sprawled on his bed and heard him and a girl walk in the apartment. I jumped out the window and am walking down main street wrapped in an american flag blanket. Can you pick me up?
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