Got a toothbrush?
I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
life lesson# 3: saying thank you on a subway really means "im not a native new yorker, so please feel free to touch my ass"
hmm. interesting. explain how you came across this knowledge.
i sneezed. he said bless you. i said thank you. he groped. i again said thank you.
sitting in room practicing taking shots. has my life come to this?
i don't remember it, but i know we had sex because my stuffed animals were facing the wall
I don't care if he acts like a don't exist 6 days a week. On the 7th day he makes makes my vagina cry. In a good way. Jesus understands.
Medicore although I woke up with the business card of a Turkish lawyer called Mufasa...
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
these people use weed stems as birthday cake candles. I'm never coming home
As soon as we had sex he stopped opening doors for me. That wasn't an exchange. Im still a god damn princess
I put miralax in my rum/coke. Go hard or go home.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
What do you mean not that crazy? I had sex last night. with my\nBOSS. in the restaurant where we WORK.... ON A DINNER TABLE.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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