Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
i just spit dirty mouth water on my dentist. and apparently grinning sheepishly and saying "my b" doesn't make it better
and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
Mom got me cough medicine that tastes like tequila . She said she took taste tests. Best mom ever.
Just made a photo collage of the girls I've hooked up with this summer. I'm patting myself on my back right now
He kept spanking me and talking about biomedical science.
Aw, you fucked a pre-med? you're moving up in the world!
Your texting shows a blood alcohol level of .12
There's 50 people in our house, none of them are wearing shirts. The keg has been relocated twice and our bathroom door is missing again...when will we ever learn?
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
That tampon felt like a stick in my vagina, I am never making a drunken tampon choice again. Friends don't let friends choose tampons drunk.
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Can I drink yet?
It's Monday morning.
Your point?
he's not even weird he's been offering me different drinks all night
oh i remember now hes the guy that liked when i peed on him
just saw two eagle scouts making out in chic-fil-a
So...I was fapping and during it, I got an Amber Alert notification...that's just bad timing.
Randomize
