it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I hope you shit your pants in a socially devastating situation.
He has been begging me for a Bj but doesnt want to get mono
How is he gunna get mono? is he gunna suck on his dick after you?
We fucked standing up with my right leg over his shoulder. Thank you mom and dad for having once enrolled me in gymnastics. It has finally paid off
all nice guys are gay and all hot ones are assholes
You're fat. Stop making excuses
apparently it's a turnoff if you ask a guy why he thinks he needs to use magnums
It's an "im going to have to shit with the lights off" type of morning
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
It's nights like those I refer to my life motto: You can't be just friends with someone after you've seen their genitals.
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
I can't even masturbate without crying fuck this break up
I spent most of my night in the men's room eating popcorn on the garbage can conversing with strangers pissing
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
It's a draw. You need to settle it in Smash, Soul Calibur, and/or rock-paper-scissors, the last of which Steve claims is bullshit.
Oh the sweet dreamless sleep of drugs
You? On what? Why?
Randomize
