I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
Everyone agrees they like your mother better drunk
No, pictures of your dick will not make me feel better about my grandmother having a brain tumor.
We've already decided our costumes for next Halloween. She's going as Cookie Monster and I'm going as Elmo. She's just going to ask for Oatmeal Cookie shots, and I'm asking for Red-Headed Slut shots.
Dude, its January.
We're going to do the voices too.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
I just ran into the married chick you banged 2 years ago at our apt! She asked me if I could get her coke! Memories bro. Memories
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
He told me that his greatest skill was making White Russians.
I think his dick was bigger than his dog
I don't think I'll get invited back. I drunkenly told her that her kids would be perfect for a pro-abortion campaign.
She took me into the bathroom and force fed me a panini, it was pretty good.
The streets are paved with hand jobs
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