I can't tell whether I'm throwing up blood or licorice.
Normal people don't sit around and watch Degrassi for twelve hours...
FUCK YOU.
I really wanna punch him. Right in his cell-phone-sized penis
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Honestly, It follows the same rules as Cock Roulette.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
no, she just came home, mumbled about being a gerbil out of water then ate half cooked chicken nuggets.. normal night
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
I'm at a new rock bottom. Malibu on ice at work because it's the only thing they've got and no mixers.
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
we didn't even throw knives this time! it was just the carrot peeler
Ummm so he didn't think I was serious about breaking up... Most awkward conversation ever
Randomize
