It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
you were chalanging people to drink the "worlds biggest jager bomb" - a VASE of Redbull and a PINT of Jager... is it no wonder you dont remember anything?
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
you decided to have a spaghetti fight but then you got greedy and decided to eat it all.
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
Now that I've lowered my makeout age to 21 I have a whole new sea to fish in.
Protocol on turning down a date from someone in the House of Representatives?
The beers last night were like the tears from god
I have no idea what to do about this. He has a power over me and I think its called his tongue.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I grabbed the pretzel bag with my toes last night. I think that day of yoga had paid off.
I just spent 100$ at a sex shop to make myself feel better. And I signed you up to win 200$ so if you win, it's mine. And yes I'm serious.
The guy at the liqiour store just said "Wow haven't seen you in awhile, is everything okay?"
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