Soap is not a condiment
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
no. the fact that it's halloween completely overrides the fact that it's sunday. youre going out whether im dragging your boring ass or not.
How are YOU going to look? Buying 40's on Christmas eve.
I feel like I need to get rid of the black eyeliner, glitter, and tequila breath before I to that world poverty conference..
people in the room actually applauded when we discovered you had the ability to somehow throw up on your own back
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
he was like captain planet, but less blue and more nakeed
We were watching sports center while I blew him so we could see the football highlights. I missed fall
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
I think my fortune cookie is telling me I give good blowjobs.
Looks like I accidentally stole two of your beers and left my pants at your place.
How did you leave without pants?
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
I can't imagine a friend I would rather lose my virginity to in a threesome.
Randomize
