I just fell asleep with a sandwich in my mouth at Cosi..people definitely saw
She had a baby and now works at Hooters. She is the poster child for peaking in high school.
you'll be horrified to know he's visiting next weekend
You two are a rollercoaster of sex and silence.
I can only use one eye at a time. And if I want to listen, I have to close both of them.
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
Happy Birhtday!
Dad, it's 3am and it's not my birthday... wherever you are, go home
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
Meeting up with one of your students at your drug dealers house is always an awkward moment
I was thinking we could get together and exchange gifts, and by gifts I mean orgasms.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
What has my life become? I'be officially recruited my fuck buddy for help getting my ex back.
The viagra-rita was a sexual success and a furniture failure. He said it was the best cowgirl sex he’s ever had even with the broken couch
Randomize
