Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm questioning the dried chocolate syrup on my tits.
I'm not sure...it could be the pasta I ate from her sink, the dominoes, or just the alcohol. Or a wicked combination of all 3.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
Who topped off the "random beer mix" beer bong with a pinch of pepper?? All you could taste was busch and pepper...
he was extremely fucked up- he thought my sports bra was his boxers. even when his leg wouldnt fit. at least whiskey dick wasnt a problem
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
Today wasn't Sunday Funday, it was more like Sunday god is taking a shit on my life day
I don't think I will ever be as happy about anything as this man next to me on the bus eating Taco Bell.
tbh i just wanted to fuck a guy with forearm tattoos but then he was so FORWARD about it
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Don't EVER mix a flaming shot, with a Jello shot.. As good as it sounds flaming Jello is not a good idea
just licked the cheese off a burger. that high.
Randomize