he invited me to an all week drinking party at his house. apparently he knows the key to my heart is booze shaped.
I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
I just told this girl who bought a pregnancy test "good luck"
this guy literally just gave me a gold star sticker for the "stellar" blow job i gave him. ashamed? i think not.
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
We have to give a final comment in english, i think i might say "i learned it's a bad idea to make out with people in your classes who have girlfriends."
you also choked him out with your legs on the kitchen floor..
I'm soaked in champagne. I'm eating oatmeal from mcdonalds tonight was glorious
Everything's a blur with pockets full of jello
Well, I made it all the way to the gas station. And from there, I begged a cab driver who was parked outside, to give me a piggy back ride the final 2 blocks to my apartment. I wasn't in the cab. Didn't have to pay. Drunk me is smart, and very lazy.
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Had to lock my cat in the bathroom so I could masturbate in peace.
Full body rubs, head scratches, foot rubs, massages, a penis that is able to get hard whenever you want it. I mean ive got a lot to offer
I just walked in on my dad beating it.. There's not a fucking therapist in ARKANSAS that can help me with that!
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