My nipple is on Facebook.
help me. he won't leave me alone. he just licked my ear and he's so drunk. get him off me. we're in the closet. help.
May God have mercy on my new vibrator.
The vomit I understand but how is there seaweed in my bed?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
Girl passed out in class and vomited. Another victim of syllabus week
There are pictures of you on the shoulders of some old guy dressed as borat
I booty called her while she was in labor.
THIS TIME TOMORROW MY VAG IS GONNA BE BRAND SPANKING NEW.
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
This is a mass text. First one to reply gets head.
Before anyone claims this, this chick is in my boyfriend's phone as "Worst BJ EVER!"
Does that mean you're calling dibs or can I?
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
