I think about you every night.
I'm sorry.
My social work teacher just told our class about her bicurios adventures in college
is she hot?
She is now
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
he just came in and straightened the chair and left again
drunkie insisted on stuffing the rest of his scrambled eggs in his pockets before we left ihop. we really should have left a better tip
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
Then you better bring Starbucks and a box of condoms in the morning.
Oh shit. This is getting real.
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Then years and years after that I will send you a picture of my warped vagina from all the kids that I had.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I'm making a sandwich topless right now. Remind me again why I don't have a boyfriend?
Randomize
