Hey sorry i havent responded. i threw up on my phone while i was sleeping
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
she pooed on me. she actually pooed on me.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
You'd think if the campus holds 28,000 undergrad I wouldn't run into three people I've hooked up with in one day
I can promise you that this new years eve will rival the one from senior year when we got that exchange student deported.
He's getting off drug court. We're doing a super-blunt with 50 dollars worth stuffed inside. He almost cried tears of joy when we told him.
I never actually go in the club. I get in line, hit on a chick, and convince her to come drink all she wants for free at my house.
Whiskey chased with ice cubes? Here's a big FUCK THAT to that
We had sex in the church bell tower and somehow it still feels right.
be right there i have to get my cape
I'm slowly getting to where I don't hate people anymore.
Never mind. Some random dude just walked past me and asked if I was having fun. I snarled at him. I might still kinda hate people.
i have too much dick at my disposal? i should make them fight. best dick pic gets laid
Never make a coconut bikini from a real coconut.
I smell like old thai food.
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Randomize
