I accidentally had sex with my boyfriend's twin last night...and he didn't stop me.
How was it?
Fantastic, but that's not the point.
Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
question. what would be the least awkward way to ask your one night stand if he came inside of you because you would really prefer not to have his illegitimate lovechild. hypothetically.
You tried to wear your Jesus costume into Family Christian stores and say it was a book signing.
apparently I kept yelling at her that I wanted t-Rex sized lines. awesome
I was holding her hair back and when she quit puking she told me she's been saving her scissor virginity for me.
Need a travel agent to tell me which countries in Asia have legalized prostitution for New Year. Fireworks would be cool too.
the whole story woulnd't be so depressing if i had made out with ANYONE but the piano player.
Worst case scenario: I have VD and will die. That's the worst that could happen. As long as I'm around long enough to see the winner of bachelor pad, I'm cool
There is a visibable outline from you in the grass. its you in the fetal position...
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
I was lying I actually don't, I hope a reindeer shitted in her bed
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize