True love is taking a shit with the one you love in the bathroom with you.
There is too much vodka and too much dick.
He left with a pair of dress shoes, some goggles, and a shot glass. I think we should follow him.
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
she tried to douche with champagne. in front of all of us. unabashedly.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Your mother liked my album on facebook that's only filled with drunk pictures. I don't know what to feel about this
Have fun in Vegas! Be safe, use condoms, and take a pic of Jon beforehand to give out when he goes missing. It will help the police.
Just put me in your contacts as coyote
I just left a 3 minute voicemail to the guy I want to fuck baby talking my cats and I don't know if I can delete it 😐
Now the fun stuff starts.
Someone is losing a finger.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
