I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
just had to re-breakup with her. it was like shooting a dead horse that was crying and talking.
Just found a picture of a hobo making out with her tits...a HOBO
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I'm wearing a shirt that says "birthday girls #1 homo" ...what has my life come to?
As my straight cousin I need you to answer a question. Are the Astros a baseball team, and if so, are they good? This is flirting related and time-sensitive.
I really feel like I should slow down on the getting hammered. I told a bartender on "Taco Tuesday" that a $3 margarita was too expensive. And proceeded to have a $70 tab.
so let me get this straight... she's showing a cameltoe that can be seen from the space station and I'm NOT supposed to stare?
Just responding to the most professional request I've ever gotten to get shitfaced.
I'm not in the business of asking people about their lizard
I meant his actual lizard not his manhood
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Bitch got stabbed in the eye. With a fork. Wait for it... At church. I was the only one at a party interested in her story. Only in the south
How was I supposed to know the accent was fake before i slept with him
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