I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
They don't allow McDonald's in the ER. Go figure
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Call me old fashioned but i like to drunk dial a girl 2 or 3 times before sending a dick pic
So update from last night: I made friends with a coke dealer, I tore the card scanner off the wall of my dorm, and I passed out on our bathroom counter with my head in the sink.
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Somehow those two combined like captain planet and shit went haywire
Found a popcorn kernel in my pubes... Time fir a Brazilian
Hello. You don't know me, but word on the street is that we are now eskimo sisters. I feel like we should go out for coffee and compare experiences.
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
You drunk-dialed me and asked me to describe my burrito
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
I slept like a rock because of your dick. I'll thank him personally later.
I think I left my bra and my crocs in your room
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