I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
I'm really tired of cleaning up my twitter the morning after
it glows. i had to have it.
as they left, you opened the door, dropped your pants then yelled "don't leave, this is what you're missing"
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
Where is my rescue team. I keep hiding shit. And I'm trying to give out shots of olive oil
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
That would be a dream come true. Seriously, he's like my mount everest, my life's ambition is to climb him.
No it was good. I serenaded the holding cell occupants with a fabulous rendition of Making Love out of Nothing at all. It was fucking amazing!
If you've never been pounded by an Eastern European body builder, I would highly recommend it.
yeah she's crazy. she fought a possum in my alley because it was "being a cagey little cunt"
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Now in listening to Jerome Bettis speak at the hall of fame and my boner just started twirling a terrible towel
"keg stand!" on a roof abruptly turned into "call the medics"
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