So she started giving everyone lap dances, and i was like "i think i like this chick"
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
i need you to recap everything for me beyond "i think i'm gonna try vodka-pong"
Dude, I found another chunk missing out of my tooth. Fuck drinking on tuesdays.
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
ecstacy + fleshlight = not all that upset about being newly single anymore
nope. just stoned. wishing i had a golf cart.
Whatever. I just want to indulge in this mcchicken and forget all about his tiny penis.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Then, he ate me out while I watched Bo Burnham. Best. Night. Ever.
I love that my family celebrates every holiday with a joint. Chanukah? Mazel-juana! Easter? What's more spring than the color green? Election day? What better way to celebrate democracy in action than medical pot?
Do you really want to know anything about the inner machinations of a furry's mind
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
it was like 6 shots in and he was automatically my type
Randomize
