I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
we're doing shots for every degree below freezing it is outside
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
His penis was definitely too big to be the type that wants commitment. Shit.
There is a full size piano in the middle of our road. Please tell me you had nothing to do with this.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
so far, I've observed him try to hit on 3 girls, 1 guy and a bar stool. Humanity is amazing from a sober point of view.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
I gotta stop fucking the bouncers. We are running out of bars to go to.
Not going to lie, when I looked in the tub I expected to see what might have been remnants of a squirrel.
I'm doing my accounting homework with my vibrator. Guess whose numbers are balanced on the financial statement? This ladys!
I finally selected an outfit that says "I'm not easy" but still shows off the tittays.
Randomize
