The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
um. i met him on myspace...we text now, he lives down the street
I know eh? If a man wants to pay 7 bucks to see some boobies he should be allowed to do so in peace.
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
We had him convinced Visine is flammable. He was genuinely freaked out that everyone would know when he was stoned.
I wish I'd realized he looked like Skrillex before I was already in the middle of fucking him...
Will you trust fall hold me, so I can pee of this building.
Yeah so then I used the selfie stick his mom gave me to take nudes
I woke up upside down with my head in your ottoman and like a foot of space between the ottoman and chair.. My legs were straight up in the air... Yes. Your mother found me.
He told me that losing me was the biggest mistake of his life. Of course it was. My tits are incredible and I know more about college football than he does.
Randomize
