mark looks like s**t tonight! thank da lawd we broke up!
it's mark...i'm guessing you didn't mean to send that to me...
Fact: my bamboo plant has grown 2 & 1/2 inches since I started watering it with bong water
I need to talk about my life with someone. Preferably with someone who hasn't tried to jizz on me
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
Either allow it in a formal toast or i will drunkenly tell your in-laws while i'm dancing on their table. either way, the truth is coming out
Also I may have a condom stuck inside me, but I won`t know til I check the couch coushions.
i didnt think "maybe you should take over" was a good thing to say when i couldnt get it up
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I'm hungover from arbor mist I'm so white
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
for future reference, singing eye of the tiger outside my door while i am having sex makes me incredibly uncomfortable
apparently not uncomfortable enough for you to stop
I can't believe the MLB is making the NHL look good.
You turned down sex for fried cheese??
My penis and doctor won't be happy with me, but come on. Fried cheese!
Randomize
