Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(440): View more from Ohio

The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"

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(215): View more from Pennsylvania

i keep telling myself in the mirror "get undrunk"

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(614): View more from Ohio

This ain't no lie cnn says sonny n cher's dtr chastity is going to have sex reassignment surgery to become a man named chaz

(1-614): View more from Ohio

Not surprised. I always thought Cher was a very passable post op transexual.

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(713): View more from Texas

Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car

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(727): View more from Florida

You blinded her by spitting vodka in her eyes, the vodka you had just taken as a body shot off of her.

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(608): View more from Wisconsin

Pretty sure I asked the person at the pharmacy counter in Walgreens to marry me last night. But also remember Rachel Maddow crawling through the TV screen, so my memory might be a bit compromised...

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(970): View more from Colorado

I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me

(970): View more from Colorado

Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere

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(530): View more from California

I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period

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(856): View more from New Jersey

2 weeks shy of 25 and all I’m wishing for is a secret admirer who pulls my trash cans to the curb Wednesday morning for me because I always forget to Tuesday’s nights thanks to it being dollar draft night at the local bar

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