$4 taco and $400 parking ticket. i am not a cheap date.
I get free beer too. Its called a vagina and its accepted everywhere like visa
My mom seriously just told me my insurance company pays for rehab. In an email. I expect a real, not just us joking, intervention coming on. I'm not accepting a "lunch date" with that bitch.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
Whos eating a bunch of acid and watching fireworks tomorrow? This guy. Thats who.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
Plan B, arranged marriage to a rich Indian, is rapidly becoming Plan A. Fuck Finals.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
You cant use biscuit as a chaser
For future reference, don't put tape on your nipples. Ouch.
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
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