my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
I think the fact that my first kiss is now in a porno says a lot about why my life is the way it is
he's drinking at 8 in the morning. it's going to be one of those "or else the terrorists have won" kinda days
i think my love is proven by the fact that i still want to have sex with you after this conversation
And I also succeeded in getting kicked out of a bar when I was drinking straight from the vodka bottle at our table.
I only listened to his story about leaving the Amish community because I was hoping for a free drink
I just watched my mom get dick on Skype.
That d should have definitely been an s.
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
i had every intention of working out now im just drinking wine and thinking about taking nudes in my thigh high tube socks
You stared at a Swedish dude for like 5 minutes then asked him "shouldn't you be yelling at dragons"
Sorry, was sleeping. I heard a rumor that I had a hangover, so I just went with it...
The adults are the big ones right?
last night I learned that if you try to buy tacos in this town, that you will be stopped by three cop cars with breathalizers
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Randomize
