how can u be prego again
i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
come over. we are watching hoarders and playing i spy.
Judging by her face, I'd say she's at least dabbled with meth...
i just won "most creative" category in the condom contest in human sexuality by licking it onto a cucumber. my feedback forms included three phone numbers, one with a Magnum XL taped to it
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
When you wake up, I have a unicorn coloring book, crayons, mini cupcakes, and booze.
Please tell me that all of the things I remember doing last night didn't really happen. Please.
my confident boosted when he told me that it was I who started making out with him. ME. NOT HIM.
I AM SHOCKED AND PROUD OF MYSELF
We were fucking in the back of my truck and no joke a skunk came up and sprayed us. How am I supposed to explain this to my parents
If I die it's either cuz I undercooked my burger or because I used questionable cheese. I have no pants on, so if there's a wellness check, you go in first.
Realization: many of my behaviors would lead to me being stoned to death in a lot of foreign countries. God bless America.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
Randomize
