I think I left something in your back seat.... It was my integrity
That's why you don't touch shit after fingering somebone
the lady in the checkout infront of me had a case of beer, two 40 oz, and activia...really??i dont' think irregularity is her problem
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
Apparently, his doctor was impressed with how well we took care of his leg. We're like the kings of naked triage.
Of all the shitty people we associated with, you should be happy that I'm the one fucking your cousin. Sorry.
Having to explain to my dad why there are chicken wings to the pool filter, new low.
Got serenaded to on the streets of Denver...the song was about a young banana that made really big decisions, got stds, and joined a gang. I think I like Colorado
Also. When I die, I'm gonna have them put me in the casket naked and then have an open casket funeral. That will be my last chance to make people uncomfortable.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
we need to open a bar. a bar with... wait for it... A FUCKING BALL PIT.
LOL. Do you guys need a ride home?
No. we're home already. i just thought it was a brilliant fucking idea.
She climbed in my window blew me and left. She's in my phone as the blow job fairy
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