We walked 2 miles, legit 2 miles, and purchased 7 half gallons. One for each of us. Intense
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
there are too many children here to make this hangover-friendly
EVERYONE CAN HEAR YOU FUCKING YOU ARE IN A TENT
True. I'd rather snort cocaine off a homeless guy then work on the weekend...Actually that may not be that bad.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Liz is crying about burritos again.
Would it be weird to tell him that on his b'day he's dressing up and we're having weird Jesus sex?
Would you like season tickets to my vagina?
I am putting together a break up mix and its pretty much the best of Phil Collins
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
She'll feel so accomplished if she finally gets to bang me.
After finding out he was married when we were together, I don't trust him.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
may or may not have snorted a line of tums... wtf.
Randomize
