i'm in the sorta mood where i wanna be that crying, drunk girl who will hook up with anyone that tells her she's pretty
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
I gotta bail on the cookout tonight. Im at the er getting stitches. Re-enacting porno went horribly wrong.
We're having a serious conversation and I just responded to something he said with an emoticon. I am so baked.
Cocaine can totally be concealed as MAC finishing powder. Drug dealer creds just went up 120 percent
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
So none of you told me my tits were popping out of my shirt for three hours?
We told you. Repeatedly. You said you made it look good.
My blue shorts are now brown from all the stripper fake tan
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
The fact that u had sex with a Disney prince blows my mind, you're my hero.
Alright, I've had enough of this good girl shit. Tonight you either blackout or backout.
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
Randomize
