Pizza is the life boat of my drunk Titanic
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
No one knows who he is but he hasn't missed a shot in beer pong yet. He's dressed as lance armstrong and is tearing shit up.
Clearly I understand physics better when I'm on cocaine
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
We are gunna have the best winter break smoking weed and eating ham
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
MY FUCKING CAT JUST GAVE BIRTH AND IM FUCKING STONED AND I FUCKING DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!!!
I almost died today via plastic wrap. I AM THE REASON THEY PUT WARNING LABELS ON THINGS.
I'm now consulting a magic eight ball on all major life decisions. On another note I think I have chlamydia.
Also lets pinky promise right now that we will NOT play "Pony" outside of each other's rooms if we have a hook up over
We are never doing shots of gin. Never again.
I'm pretty sure that's exactly what we're doing.
Randomize
