I wanna put my baby in that!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Ew you even made it your fb status
Ppl probably think ur having a kid
I hope
Love having children with random chicks
My birthing hips are way to big to be around all these juveniles.
I don't even know how sober sex starts anymore
you told the cop you blew a .08 because you ate poppy seeds
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
So then she just shoved applesauces in her pocket and started talking about she needed to find her friends.
you didn't get her number why?
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
I just scrubbed chocolate off the bathtub... You better have had a damn good birthday
these girls were driving down the road screaming "SHOT!!" out the windows and pelting potatoes at passerby.
i got hit in the ear.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
Pain in my heart, regret in my vagina
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
The sex was so good I feel like I could run a triathlon, hit big at the casino, and defeat ISIS.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
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