Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
Situation: He got it in my eye, how long do I let it sting before should start to worry?
please come you make the beer taste better
I just woke up to me licking the dognuts
You mean Doughnuts?
......No :(
Dude she let me cum on her face
You have the wrong number I'm the she who let you cum on her face unless some other girl has let you since this morning
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
The police report said that there were 25 cases of bud light, two hookers fighting in the street, 13 cop cars, and two road blocks, a kid got tazered, another got maced, and over a hundred people in the house
So that means its a bad thing that your dad found it huh?
he wouldn't lick chocolate syrup off of me because he's vegan. most awkward shower ever.
I'm seeing double so when I get home can we have a threesome?
I didn't know White Castle was open when your sober.
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Guess how much it costs to flush your pants down the toilet?
Randomize
